I think I finally have a confident and complete answer for this question, for this stage of my life. I’d like to record it down.
“Who is/are your favourite composer/composers?”
J.S.Bach, Beethoven, and Brahms.
I always wonder, what are we trying to say through art?
Sometimes, we are so touched by art for art’s sake, by the exquisite craftsmanship of art itself, and we may in turn agree with the moral or philosophical views of the context – if there is one.
But what is art supposed to do? What is art supposed to say?
As a performer, are we to make choice of what work we want to take on? If so, do we base it on the artistic value, or its contextual value, or something else?
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Yesterday I glanced outside the window of our living room, which faces the Hudson River on Riverside Drive. The trees have become much more barren.
For beauty, Phaedrus, mark me, beauty alone is both divine and visible at once; and thus it is the road of the sensuous; it is, little Phaedrus, the road of the artist to the spiritual. But do you now believe, my dear, that they can ever attain wisdom and true human dignity for whom the road tot he spiritual leads through the senses? Or do you believe rather (I leave the choice to you) that this s a pleasant but perilous road, a really wrong and sinful road, which necessarily leads astray? For you must know that we poets cannot take the road of beauty without having Eros join us and set himself up as our leader. Indeed, we may even be heroes after our fashion, and hardened warriors, through we be like women, for passion is our exaltation, and our desire must remain love – that is our pleasure and our disgrace. You now see, do you not, that we poets cannot be wise and dignified? That we necessarily go astray, necessarily remain lascivious, and adventurers in emotion? The mastery of our style is all lies and foolishness, our renown and honor the training of the public and of youth through art is a precarious undertaking which should be forbidden. For how, indeed, could he be a fit instructor who is born with a natural leaning towards the precipice? We might well disavow it and reach after dignity, but wherever we turn it attracts us. Let us, say, renounce the dissolvent of knowledge, since knowledge, Phaedrus, has no dignity or strength. It is aware, it understands and pardons, but without reserve and form. It feels sympathy with the precipice, it IS the precipice. This then, we abandon with firmness, and from now on our efforts matter only by their yield of beauty, or, in other words, simplicity, greatness, and new rigor, form, and a second type of openness. But form and openness, Phaedrus, lead to intoxication and to desire, lead the noble perhaps into sinister revels of emotion which his own beautiful rigor rejects as infamous, lead to the precipice – yes, they too lead to the precipice. They lead us pots there, I say, since we cannot force ourselves,since we can merely let ourselves out. And now I am going, Phaedrus. You stay here; and when you no longer see me, then you go too.
- from Death in Venice by Thomas Mann
Once in my teenage years I have experienced and agreed with this profoundly. It is a dangerous, exciting, sinful road, an it will consume one without a trace.
Perhaps this is what some embrace wholeheartedly- and live for.
In my twenties now, reading this, I am seeing myself. To fully comment and understand this passage I will need to read way more (ie Plato), but it is here to be recorded.
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There’s an urge inside everybody that wants to destroy beauty. To possess, to make impure and imperfect, and take delight and pride in the ownership of such actions.
It makes me shiver.
Only New York’s autumn reminds me of Beijing’s autumn.
Yesterday Yo-yo Ma and his silk road ensemble came to our school and did a “masterclass” on out-reach programs. That is to say, to give advice and suggestion on groups of musicians who are planning to go to elementary schools to spread the knowledge and joy of music. Aside from the fact that Yo-yo reminds me so much of my dad, he had reminded me certain things I tend to forget.
First and foremost: the importance of how we communicate to our audience. While it does not mean that we should do anything in our ability to please the sole taste of our audience, he did draw attention on the details of our physical presence, aura, energy and the like, and how we can use these things also to contribute to the communication of our ideas. This, kind of reminds me of Claudio Arrau’s comment in contrary. To paraphrase, “You had what you need to say, and that’s it. If the audience likes it, that’s alright; if not, *mumbles*.” The older generation seems to be concerned in the message itself, a pure and robust nature of their idea, and nothing more. Whereas the new generation of musicians seem to have started paying attention to the audience more, in turn seem more humanistic.
I won’t comment further on how I think regarding this matter. Simply, everybody is their own artist.
Secondly, Yo-yo pointed at the edge of the stage and said: here is the line we should always try to cross.
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I have finally cleaned up the bathroom. Not completely, but nearly is enough. I feel very accomplished!
After watching the movie “Les Choirstes”, and after reading some reviews of the movie on wikipedia, I suddenly realized something about movie criticism – or art criticism in general – that such criticism is on the manipulation of human emotions. And this is huge for me!
Human emotions are the most intimate, personal and precious things that is given to a single person. To imagine that something/somebody can purposely manipulate that, is almost devilish. – But who am I to say? Do I not learn also – in ways – to do the same thing?
At least I hope I am learning to sharpen the lens with which I use to convey my ideas, instead of for the sake of manipulating emotions. (Yet – yet! – I have on occasions enjoyed doing so…)
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My very good friend Rose will be in New York with me for a week. I am very excited to have her here.
One very last remark: pianist Michelangeli reminds me of the God Father from the movie God Father.
When you have true love, cherish it with all your heart; when you don’t have true love, do not abuse it by wasting it on those who are not your true love.
Because when the day comes that your true love appears in your life, you will hurt both you and your true love.
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