While browsing through my iPhone art app, I came across this painter Isaak Levitan, whose work instantly transfixed me. Generally speaking, I’m not the number one fan for landscape paintings due to their often cold, lofty nature; but there’s something so human and so alive (be it pain, nostalgia or happiness) in his paintings that I can hear the sound of nature and feel the breeze. Absolutely moving.

If both of these characters sound strange to you, check out any of the Harry Potter movies – Alan Rickman played professor Snape (one of my favourite characters, not that it’s important) and Fiona Shaw played Duddly’s mother, Harry’s aunt Petunia. Rings a bell?

I’ve always admired Alan Rickman – from Harry Potter to Sense and Sensibility, he has never failed to be classy, profound and memorable. The whole cast delivered such an amazing performance, it was truly heart-gripping.  This was also the first Ibsen play I had ever seen, and I cannot help but to marvel at the level of artistry Ibsen possesses when he interweaves multiple facets of irony into one collective scene. I’m not a theatre expert, but I believe art is all interconnected. This performance left a heavy stroke on my heart, just like how a great musical performance transcends the soul.

As the play ended with two ladies standing by a dead Borkman in the dreadful, desolate winter storm, we stepped out of the theatre in Brooklyn only to find real snowflakes descending upon us from the sky. This is what I call the perfect moment.

Absolutely beautiful. Let the lives in the play live on,  let us all look into our hearts and may it be so that we never be the murderer of love.

———-

Snowday tomorrow – that means no school.  Practice is still on schedule though,  and will be going American String Quartet’s concert at Merkin Hall tomorrow evening – that is, if I can trudge through the snow.

And this thought is somehow tied to my recent reading of Beethoven’s letters and conversations.

I think, I have a probable answer (though of course this is not the only one) to why musicians (and artists) can be blatantly gay in a good number. That is, a man has two choices in the course of his life: one, pursue his dream and passion; another, be the “realistic and practical”, make a good living and support his family (wife, children, etc). Of course, it would the “ideal” if he could do both successfully and whole-heartedly, but sometimes they collide – not only that, to settled for the latter would be a shame and betrayal on the former. And so, we have some great musicians/artists who have chosen the pursuit of their art, without the ability to support (financially) a family.  And perhaps this is their destiny, a great challenge and gift God has bestowed upon these men. At the same time, when a man and a woman gets involved in a relationship, it is not easy to let it not lead anywhere serious (afterall, a man and a woman are to marry). And perhaps, homosexuality becomes an unconscious choice and one of the natural inclinations.

And this concludes my thought.

On a somewhat disjointed note..

Dear Marie, dear Bigot,

With the deepest regret I observe that the purest, most innocent of feelings can often be misinterpreted. Affectionately as you have received me in the past, it never occurred to me to assume anything other than that you were honouring me with your friendship. You must think me very vain and very petty if you suppose that the favourable disposition of even so excellent a person as you are would cause me to conclude at once that I have won her love. Besides, it is one of my first principles never to maintain a relationship other than one of friendship with another man’s wife.

…

Ludwig van Beethoven

When a German says it, I tend to believe.

从家到学校的路上，有一个公园。

深秋，我偶尔会在路上碰到一个中国老伯，骑着自行车绕着公园 – 一圈，两圈，三圈…

转眼，树上的叶子快落齐了。

没有太阳的白天
没有寒意的秋风

我望不到去年的这个时间,
淅沥的秋雨打在地上,
我们淋在古老建筑的身旁，
似湿非湿地

湖和海就在看不见的眼前。

心是灰色的,没有未来,

一顿吃在下午的早餐

身体和脚都是冷的

随着这些落叶，我望不到去年了。

Riverside, NYC. On a late afternoon by the Riverside.