philosophie.

Merry CHRISTmas!

This Christmas season, I have come back to Toronto from New York, had some really authentic traditional Shan Xi and Cheng Du home-cooked meals, received text messages on my US phone saying “Merry Christmas” sent from numbers I don’t even recognize, and laughed so much today at a gathering with some friends in a long, long time that I feel so high.

But all in all, I have come to realize just how great it feels to have your loved ones around you – even if they are not physically there, you know they are in your heart and in your life. Seeing their smiles, hearing their voices, or even an email or text message delivering the best wishes – that is so priceless in life.

If you ask me what I want for Christmas, I really have nothing materialistic that I really want or need (okay, fine, maybe a pair of socks or something); but just having all these people around in my life and knowing that Love will always bind us through.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Robert Mann

昨天晚上和梓君又坎了一晚上，结果电话断了。

昨天去听一个庆祝Robert Mann的音乐会。其中主持人与听众听他畅谈音乐，生活。每次我看到一个白发的老人站在台上，还是在倾诉他一生对音乐的爱与执著，总会很受感动。

他讲到了关于现在年轻的音乐家包括音乐学生步入职业生涯太早，真正花在音乐学习上的时间被剥削掉了。虽然我同意这种看法，可是现在的社会普遍喜爱年轻的音乐家，逆流而上是很难的。这是否是一种”freak show”现象？年纪大小的作用在作曲家，作家，导演，画家等他们在成名的时候好像远比不上在音乐家这里看到的大；而真正老的音乐家也仅有那么几个。

我也不知道我到底想说些什么。

另外还有一点，他提到当初组建Juilliard String Quartet的时候，他们想要达到的目的是，”Play the music composed by the dead men in the way as if it could be composed in the modern time; and play the modern music and play with such ease and understanding so it could sound as if composed a long time ago.”

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Hudson河对岸新泽西的天是银蓝色的，可是曼哈顿头顶的天已经是绒丝般的黑了。河水反回来的光，初亮的街灯，古老建筑打上去的装饰灯，把眼前打造成了一个摄影棚。此时，生命变成了一场戏。

久时，乌云散去，我居然抬头再曼哈顿里看到了黑夜里耀眼的群星。

自我失去

和另外一个人越接近，我们就越在失去自我。

到了结婚的时候，我们就在欢乐和爱中自由选择去失去自我。

人生也许就是在自由选择中的自我失去。也许这并不值得“惋惜” – 是因为人人都会这样么？是因为如果我们不这样，我们会感到更冷清更有失落感？

是否有些人生下来就是以遁世为生活态度。

阳光下的拉萨，你可听见天和地之间的空广。而在那阳光下，你能感受到所有过去生命里的喜乐哀怒；却又那么平静。

evening time by the park