philosophie.

nyc

Aug.18th 2009

We loaded the car at noon, it took us a little bit more than an hour to load the car – a Mitsubishi SUV that we rented, and by the time we finished, the entire car was packed to its maximum. It had rained on the way, we listened to Dvorak Symphony No.9 when the rain was the most heavy and the most loud.

We are almost in New York City! The summer haze has surrounded the mountinas whenever it didn’t rain. Air outside has frozen with the most non-circulating hot particles, sun is setting. Just like the way it was the first time I went to NYC two years ago; like the sencond time I went to NYC a year ago.

All in the summer. But things are yet so different.

Last night in Buffalo we saw many many stars. So quiet and sparkly. Will I still see stars among the busiest street lights in a big city tonight?

I had also just realized that the check-in day is tomorrow. It seems like school will begin promptly and another busy year ahead!

7:40pm on the road

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Woke up in the morning, not having rested as well as I usually do at home. The 1 train at 125th here is rather loud at night. There’s a fire escape outside of my window, but I haven’t figured out how to get out yet.

It feels surreal. That’s all I can say for now.

Also, I don’t know what I could’ve done without Eric’s help.

Aug.19 morning

packing

1/ there’s nothing wrong with loving shoes and buying them. they will only come as a headache when you wanna pack them, then you’ll suddenly realize just how many pairs you’ve bought all together.

I have three boxes of shoes to bring with me, and two boxes of books. What does this mean?

to you – from Sophie, with love.

After the day I finished the last project associated with my four years of undergrad – my recital in May, I’ve been wanting to write something. Something to reflect on the past four years of my life, to write and express how thankful I am to have been blessed by having met you in my life, and to perhaps draw a conclusion for this chapter of my life before I am to begin a completely new one. And here I am, feeling a little tipsy after playing an amazing chamber music concert I was so honoured to have been part of, day before I am to leave Toronto, still unpacked, three in the morning; letting these words flow out of my unorganized mind. I had never realized how rewarding it is to be a musician. The four years not only taught me that but has also taught me how tough it is to be a musician. There were moments when I doubted and feared, but those of you who saw me grew, helped me grew and pushed me grew – even if that means being my “mother” and “father” at school, watching out for my diet by telling me my lunch had no vegetables and was highly unhealthy, practically kicking me out of the practice room because you were worried as it was getting late – giving me a pat on the shoulder before I was to go on stage, a beliving smile and a warm hug; never getting tired to hear my repetitive run-throughs and share with me your most valuable suggestions and experiences; you were the people I looked up to and respected so much. And then, there were the six of us, growing together during the four years. Even though we may not have had so much time to spend with each other, but I wish you all the best and it has been a pleasure to be a colleague of yours, to hear your musical comments and learn from you and to share the four years of undergrad experience with you. There is this inspiring and beautiful girl who struggled with me, being there every step of the way; we cried in front of each other and told each other our deepest hurts, and we also held each other up whenever we needed each other. So much of what I am and how I am is shaped by you, and I know that this friendship is something that will carry me through for the rest of my life. Lastly, my super amazing trio with whom I spent the two most important years of my life. How can I thank you? From the Brhams reading in 216 to getting pooped on hiking in Banff; from the daily rehearsals during Christmas break to driving together in the middle of nowhere in the heavy snow heading to play a concert; from singing Queen out loud to watching and cheering for team Italy – we laughed and cried, and went through too much. Every time I think of you, I feel that you are my family – you are the ones that witnessed my bad habits, and helped me to become a better musician. Now we are going to different places, the thought of having been with you and played and laughed with you will always be with me, and I look forward to playing together in the future! There are also so many lovely people showed up in my life that I had only too short of a time to get to know. But every single one of you has made a cloud go away when I am feeling not so bright. And all of you have all become the very source of inspirition for my music and my love. I really cannot say just how blessed I feel. I am glad to leave this city for now, not shameful to say. But I will most definitely miss your heart-warming smiles and beautiful music making.What will come tomorrow I do not know, but the thought of you will always help me to find back my confidence and courage. As of now, let’s rock on! What do you say? :)

three more days

Last three days in Toronto – ahh, so soon.

Busy running around, rehearsing and packing. I really have not so many things to bring to NYC, even clothes (how strange is that?).

Fellowship had a “goodbye” dinner at Ricepaper and that was the night when I saw thunder like I’ve never seen before. Sky cracked into halves, and it lit up like many studio strobes on the backdrop. I’m sorry these days I’m so busy I have no time to edit and upload the photos – I’ll do that when I get to NYC, promise!

Sunday, Eric and I will drive to Buffalo and stay over; Monday, we’ll continue our trip to NYC.

Ah Toronto, a city I lived in for almost 10 years. I’m so glad I’m leaving you for another chapter of my life. As much of a traitor as that sounds, I am looking forward to many new aspects of life, and at the same time, all of the people who I’ve met here in Toronto, I’ll carry the impact you’ve made in my life wherever I go; whether positive or not, I thank you for all of it and would not have asked any other way.

Chamber music concert is coming up this Saturday, hope to see you there!

embrace