philosophie.

new address

Trying out tumblr. Therefore, temporarily, please visit

http://ibettina.tumblr.com

Very tasty Alberta beef

Fine dining at Three Ravens – a reward for myself for the past stressful and music-less days. Must say, the beef tenderloin is delicious! Just the right portion for a girl like me.

loneliness

It is not the first time I hear the phrase “Music is an elite art.” My first reaction was always that of aversion, even though it has been said by some of my most respected mentors.

I don’t know about you, but the word “elite” is not a commendatory word in my world. It embodies the subtle kind of social segregation, an attitude of the superior, the stance of an arrogant. After all the equality in artistic expression as well as the status of a musician’s intellectual output Beethoven had fought for with his life and music, to hear that music is the art of the elite is almost blasphemous.

In my recent stay in this silence yet magnificent snow land, I have come to arrive at the polar side of my earlier feelings about this phrase. I have come to understand that the word “elite” signifies rather a conflicting state of being for a musician, rather than that of an arrogant attitude.  To say that music is an “elite” art, it really means that whoever decides to serve it must bear the burden of being lonely.

Loneliness has been my companion ever since I moved to Canada about eleven years ago. I was a child, I did not speak the language, and did not wish to speak my mother tongue with other children just because I needed friends. So it was loneliness that became my good friend, when music was not around. As I finally came to understand what piano playing is really about (that is, not related to any technical display of competence, not for the pleasing of others, and certainly not for fame or honour; but for the love for music and the need for artistic expression), loneliness accompanies from dawn until dusk, often presses its hand on my heart, seizes my breath.

Undoubtedly, I do have some of the best friends I could ever ask for, the most wonderful companion for life, and a few dearly loved mentors who always supported and encouraged me. They, too, know that such loneliness is what comes with the “profession” (if we can even call that) we chose, because the great population is not capable of understanding and appreciating this kind of art.

There, that last sentence sounded exactly like how I thought “elite” meant before.

In all actuality, I think that it’s really not that classical musicians are anymore well-educated or artistically endowed than the rest of the population. I think that “elite” means a state of being, but anyone potentially can achieve this state – that is, to fulfill and culture oneself to become capable of appreciating and understanding this “elite art”.  It is only a sad reality that not very many people have the urge to do that.

Why do you do what you do? If what you do is understood by so few, would you still continue doing that for the rest of your life? If you lose a physical ability that is instrumental in doing what you do – like losing hearing for a musician – would you continue to do what you do?

Beethoven did. And as I was reminded by a true musician just very recently, we live in that tradition of artistic integrity. I would say that I will do the same, even though the burden of serving such elite art is that of loneliness and constant dissatisfaction.

Beethoven composed some of the most glorious music in his complete lonesome world. In this superficial world, perhaps it is rather a blessing.

 

winter wonderland

I do realize that this is about a month and half into the program here at Banff, and I wrote nothing during this period. That is not to say that nothing interesting was going on – in fact, there were too many things. I had such an amazing time playing with some of the most inspiring musicians.

There are only two weeks left until I return to “reality”, it is unthinkable how I would feel the moment I see no more mountains surrounding me.

Two days ago I went on a road trip with a good friend to Lake Louise. It had just snowed, the sun was peeking through the clouds as we arrived, it was absolutely dreamlike.

We could not help but to dive into the fluffy snow. It was complete abandonment.

on clutter and jargon

William Zinsser in “On Writing Well” (brilliant book btw!): “Clutter is the ponderous euphemism that turns a slum into a depressed socioeconomic area, a salesman into a marketing representative, a dumb kid into an underachiever and garbage collectors into waste disposal personnel.” and an accompanist into collaborative pianist, piano tuner into piano technician, toy piano player into professional toy-pianist?! (and I say this with full respect to the first two)

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Same book:

“I see that Detroit is downsizing its cars but still hoping to attract upscale customers. (Small Cadillacs for rich people.) It’s part of an ongoing effort to save energy. All efforts in America today are “ongoing.” So are all programs and investigations. So, in fact, are all people and all forms of life; when we cease to be ongoing we are dead. “Ongoing” is a jargon word that is wholly unnecessary except to raise morale. We face our daily job with more zest if the boss reminds us that it’s an ongoing project; we give more willingly to institutions if they have targeted our funds for ongoing improvements.”